This Road We're On
by fmd-jade
Summary: A little moment among the haste might open Rayna's eyes. Or someone has to open them for her.
1. Chapter 1

The knock on his door on a Friday night was a surprise. But maybe it shouldn't have been. She was persistent after all.

"Hi."

"Hey." Deacon frowned and met Pam's nervous gaze , not letting go of the doorframe. "What are you doing here?"

"Well…" Pam winced and looked down at her feet before facing him again. "I thought I'd come over and stop whatever little sad-fest you have going on instead of being out on a Friday night. But now that I'm here I'm not sure if that was a good idea."

"Why would you think that?" He hoped his face gave nothing away.

"Well for one…" She took a step forward, well into his personal space. "I'm standing on your porch and you haven't invited me in yet."

Deacon chuckled and stepped out of the doorway. Pam smiled and walked past him, brushing her hand along his chest.

"So, what are you doing?" Pam asked.

Deacon closed the front door and watched her for a moment as she took in his living room. "I was just trying to write a song actually."

Pam took off her scarf and jacket, dumping both unceremoniously on his armchair. "Let me guess, another song about your longing love for a certain someone?!" She teased.

Deacon bit down on his lip and took a deep breath. "No." He walked further into the room. "Do you want anything to drink?"

"Do you _have_ anything to drink?"

He just rolled his eyes and went into the kitchen, Pam trailing behind him. He stuck his head into his fridge when she came up behind him, settling a hand on his back.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"No, you shouldn't." Deacon turned around and presented her with a soda.

"Thanks." Pam took it from him. "So tell me about that song."

Deacon heaved a deep breath and took a long look at her, while he leaned back against the kitchen counter. "What are you doing here, Pam?"

Pam played with the label on the bottle before putting it aside completely. "We had fun." She said matter-of-factly.

"Yes, we did."

"So let's keep having fun."

Deacon chuckled and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Or what?" Pam asked him with a coy smile as she stepped up to him and let her hands roam over his chest and rest on his neck. "Are you afraid people could find out that Deacon Claybourne actually knows what fun is?"

His cell phone ringing saved him from actually having to answer. Pam took a step back so he could reach into his pocket to get it out.

He frowned at the caller ID. "Yeah?"

Pam didn't even pretend to give him privacy as she listened to his side of the conversation.

"Yeah, I know who you are… What?" She looked up at his urgent tone. "Where are you now? I'll be there soon."

Deacon hung up and met her curious gaze. "I have to go."

"What's going on?" Pam frowned and followed Deacon into the living room where he grabbed his jacket and car keys.

"That was the girls' babysitter. She is home alone with Daphne and Daphne is really sick. Said something about the hospital."

"So?" She asked as Deacon handed her her jacket and scarf.

"She can't reach Rayna or Teddy so I'm gonna go over there." He explained impatiently.

Pam let herself be shuffled towards the door but dug her heels in at his words. She turned around in disbelief. "You're kidding me, right?"

Deacon just frowned at her in irritation.

"This is not even your daughter. Do you realize how pathetic that is? That you would do something like this for Rayna after what she did to you? She dumped you."

"Hey!" Deacon was in her face instantly. "You and I might have had some fun together. And maybe I was even starting to like you. But nothing gives you the right to talk about her like that."

Pam wouldn't let herself be intimated by his harsh tone. "Well someone has to."

"Well it's sure as hell not gonna be you." Deacon leveled her with a deathly glare. "You don't get to waltz into my life and judge me or anyone else in it."

"She is not _in_ your life." Pam pushed back, daring him to argue that point.

"You don't get it." Deacon replied, his tone clipped and not inviting further discussion. "She is my family. And Daphne might not be mine, but she is Rayna's daughter. And that makes her important to me. And right now she is sick and scared and needs someone to be there for her."

"You're really messed up, you know that?!" She just shook her head as if she was already done with him. But mostly she seemed disappointed. "She's not going to take you back just because you came to the rescue."

Deacon took a deep breath and a small, almost bittersweet smile crossed his face. "It doesn't matter. And you know what? I don't have to explain myself to you. You don't know me and you sure as hell don't know Rayna."

He knew it. And knew all about it and that had to be enough. It always had been. And with that he finally managed to get Pam over the threshold so he could close the door behind them and run over to his car.

::

::

He let himself in through the backdoor as he had countless times before when he was sure Teddy hadn't been home.

"Hannah?" He called out. "It's Deacon."

He heard her hurrying down the stairs a second later. "Oh thank God, you're here." He took in the college girl's ragged appearance. "I'm so sorry for calling you but I didn't know what else to do."

"Where's Daphne?" He asked, hoping to calm her down.

"She's in bed but she keeps coughing like crazy and the meds they gave me in the ER don't seem to help at all." Hannah sounded a little panicked. "And they said it would get better but it hasn't and I seriously didn't know what else to do."

Deacon ignored her and walked straight up the stairs. Daphne's coughs could be heard from halfway up and led him to her room. When he entered his heart ached from the sight in front of him.

Daphne was half sitting, half lying in bed, her little frame shaken by violent coughs. Tears were streaming down her face from the exertion.

Her eyes widened as she recognized him in the doorway. "Deac-" Her plea was interrupted by another set of coughs. Instead she reached for him and he as he reached her bed any awkwardness he might have expected went out the window. He gently sat down at the edge of her bed and helped the girl crawl into his lap. Daphne drew in sharp breaths while Deacon gently rubbed her back.

When he had assured himself that she was not in fact dying he looked up to find the young woman standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"You did the right thing by calling. Why don't you call Rayna and Teddy to let them know that everything is okay. Leave a message if you have to." Hannah nodded eagerly, thankful to be tasked with job she felt she could handle.

"And we…" He gently jostled Daphne in his lap and wiped away the tears on her cheeks. "We're going to do something about that cough, okay?"

Daphne just nodded tiredly and rested her head against his shoulder as Deacon picked her up and carried her towards the bathroom. He held her tight as he turned on the shower as hot as he could and settled himself on the edge of the bathtub.

"Deacon?" She asked in a tired voice.

"Hm?" Deacon let her lean against him as he gently rubbed her back.

"I want my Mom." Daphne managed to get out between coughs that made her eyes water.

"I know. It's going to be okay, baby."

He kept holding her, waiting for the steam to envelope them and her coughs to subside. For lack of anything else to say, he started humming his new song, singing a few lines here and there.

::

::

Deacon looked up as the door suddenly opened. Daphne had just managed to doze off and he was still rocking her back and forth, not knowing how to get her to bed without her waking up again.

"You're kidding me, right?"

"Teddy-" Deacon said but Teddy just shook his head and walked over to them. Deacon's eyes drifted away as Teddy leaned down in front of his daughter and gathered her into his arms.

"Hey, honey." He said gently as Daphne stirred in his arms. "Let's get you into bed."

Deacon waited for him downstairs and gritted his teeth when Teddy slowly made his way into the living area a few minutes later.

"Teddy. Look, I didn't mean to overstep. But her babysitter called in a panic and then she had me panicked-" Teddy silenced him with a wave of his hand.

"It's okay." He said solemnly.

Deacon did a double take but didn't dare say anything else as Teddy took a seat on the opposite sofa.

"I don't like it. But I understand." Teddy continued, finally meeting his gaze. "And Hannah certainly needs to learn how to leave a message. She was in hysterics and all I could make out was Daphne and ER and… It's okay."

He met his eyes dead on so that he could see his honesty. Deacon nodded in understanding before shrugging himself off the armchair and turning towards the door.

"Deacon."

He turned around in the doorway, wondering if the first honest and civil conversation he ever had with Teddy was going to come to blows after all.

Teddy swallowed hard. "Thank you. For being there for Daphne. And for Maddie."

Deacon looked down but in the end he couldn't let it go. There was a weary resignation in his voice that he couldn't help either. "Man, I just wish you would get over that fear you have of me taking the girls away from you."

Teddy pulled himself to his full height and Deacon could see him struggling for words.

"I'm working on it." Is all he could muster.

Deacon knew it wasn't what he'd intended to say, but he took it for what it was. A start.

::

::

"Oh my God, please tell me that everyone is okay and not dying."

Teddy looked up from his magazine as Rayna stumbled trough the back door in anything but her usual grace.

"Everything's fine." He quickly assured her as he got up to meet her halfway.

"Maddie?" Rayna asked as she rid herself of her shoes and jewelry.

"Safe and sound at her sleepover." Teddy confirmed.

"Daphne?" Rayna asked with a cringe.

"Sleeping off a fever and a bad cough upstairs."

Teddy actually chuckled as he watched her turn on her mama bear mode and hurry up the stairs. No doubt to check on their little girl.

She joined him downstairs fifteen minutes later, having rid herself of her make-up and traded her dress for sweatpants and a shirt.

"Okay." She said as she sunk down on the couch. "She is sleeping. And she didn't feel all that feverish."

"I gave her some Tylenol an hour ago."

They stare at each other for a long moment before Rayna reluctantly dragged her gaze away. "Okay, lay it on me."

Teddy just frowned. "What?"

"How bad of a mother I am for leaving my daughter when she wasn't feeling well?! And then not being able to answer my phone… But that Hannah seriously needs to learn how to leave a message. I mean she calls me to tell me that my baby is in the ER and then she doesn't answer my calls? What did we give her the phone for?"

He watched the guilt play across her face for a moment before saying anything. "It's alright."

"At least she was able to reach you. Thank you so much for looking after her, babe."

Teddy cringed. There went his moral high ground. "She didn't, actually."

Rayna looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I was in the middle of an important interview and my phone was on silent."

"Then what happened?"

Teddy took a deep breath before admitting the painful truth. "Hannah didn't know what to do so she called Deacon. He came over and took care of everything."

"And he managed to leave here on his own two feet?" She asked cautiously, only half joking.

"Yes." Teddy said with a knowing smirk. "We can behave ourselves, you know."

Rayna just nodded, her eyes roaming over the room. "That was really nice of him, wasn't it?"

"Yeah." Teddy acknowledged, not missing the sudden change in his ex-wives demeanor.

"Huh." Rayna avoided his eyes by looking down at her lap, kneading her fingers relentlessly.

"Rayna?"

When she looked up again he could see the tears gathering in her eyes.

Teddy hesitated because he wasn't sure if she was ready to hear what he had to say. Or if he was even ready to put voice to what he'd been thinking for years. He had never been completely sure. Not until he heard Deacon's song for Rayna at the Bluebird Café and watched both his daughters become more miserable by the week.

He took a shallow breath and prepared himself for this.

"Rayna."

She sniffled and tried to discreetly wipe at her eyes before she finally met his gaze.

"What the hell are doing?"

"Teddy. Please don't." She sounded tired. Far more so than he'd have thought possible.

"No. I feel like since Tandy isn't around to give you hell, nobody will."

Rayna just averted her head, blinking rapidly.

"Rayna." He continued softly. "You know I'm not Deacon's biggest fan."

She just huffed and actually cracked a smile at that. That had to be the understatement of the century.

"I'm just starting to accept that Deacon is some part of this family. And although I tried to deny it, I know he has been for years." He never thought he would say that to her. Or that he would mean it. "Maddie told me that he proposed."

"Great." Rayna huffed and it seemed like she regained some of her feistiness. "And now you want to know how I could be doing this to him, is that it?"

Teddy forced himself to stay calm. Raising to her bait was exactly what she wanted. "No. I'm asking why you're doing this to yourself."

He waited for a reaction but he got none.

"I know you, Rayna. And as much as it hurts to admit, I know you have loved this man like no other for over 20 years."

Her chin falls to her chest.

"And I know that the way Luke Wheeler lives his life is not your way. Or the way you want for our daughters."

Rayna's hand shook as she lifted it to wipe her cheeks. She met Teddy's eyes and let him see all the pain, guilt and regret within.

"Do you remember when Deacon and I were together?"

It wasn't what Teddy had expected, but he went with it. "You mean before the accident?"

"No." Rayna shook her head. "Before Maddie."

"Yeah, I remember." He watched as Rayna sat across from him, suddenly looking small and lost on that big sofa as her mind seemed to take her back fifteen, twenty years.

"We loved each other and I thought we were happy." She swallowed. "And yet Deacon was miserable enough to start drinking and turn into an alcoholic."

Teddy shook his head, not believing that he was suddenly called to the defense of a man he had loathed as long as he'd known him. "But it's different now. He's changed. Hell, you've both changed."

"Not so much that we still don't make each other miserable every chance we get." She said with finality. "And what's gotten into you lecturing me about Deacon, all of a sudden?"

Teddy leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. "Rayna. I just want you and the girls to be happy."

"I am." But a disagreeing shake of his head had her on the defense. "What, you don't believe me?"

Teddy got up from the couch and slipped back into his jacket. He didn't know what he had expected from this confrontation, but he probably shouldn't have been surprised.

"Rayna, you and Deacon, I never stood a chance against that. When he became sober you didn't last six months without him. So how can you be happy when he is so miserable?"

He let himself out and never had a chance to see the way Rayna's face crumbled.


	2. Chapter 2

**I debated with myself for a long time, not knowing if I wanted to continue this. I'm not too happy with this chapter, but I thought I'd give it a try. Enjoy. And thanks for all the previous reviews!**

* * *

><p>Daphne spotted him the moment he made it through the hallway and into the open living area.<p>

"Deacon!" She exclaimed happily and jumped up from her pile of pillows and blankets on the couch to throw herself into his arms.

"Well, someone must be feeling better than last night." He chuckled as he hugged her tightly and sat her back down.

"What are you doing here?" She wanted to know, curious as always.

"He was picking me up, dumbass." Maddie said as she entered the kitchen a second later, dragging her duffel bag behind her.

"I'm not a dumbass, idiot." Daphne exclaimed as she walked back over to her makeshift bed.

"O-kay, that's enough." Deacon said decisively. "Daphne, is your Mom around?"

"She's upstairs." Daphne replied, her attention already elsewhere as Maddie made a grab for the remote. "Hey! That's mine. Mom said so."

"Well, Mom isn't here right now." Maddie said as she held the remote high above her head.

Deacon just rolled his eyes and went in search of Rayna.

He found her in Daphne's room, changing the sheets. Her hair was in a messy pony tail and Deacon couldn't for the life of him remember the last time he had seen her in a t-shirt and sweatpants. She looked… relaxed. At ease.

"Hey." Deacon leaned against the doorframe and watched her.

"Hey. You're here already." Rayna smiled at him.

Deacon watched her for a moment. Rayna felt his eyes on her like pinpricks. "What?"

"Nothing. Just..."

"What?" Rayna asked with a smirk. "Never saw the Queen of Country changing sheets?"

"No. That I do remember." He quipped. "But I don't think I ever saw you wearing sweatpants."

"Too much soccer mom?" She asked and crunched her nose.

Deacon immediately shook his head. "No. You look... comfortable." She looked like a lazy Saturday morning at home. She looked perfect.

"Yeah well…." Rayna trailed off as she fluffed up the last pillow and put it into place. "I thought since Daphne is sick we should all have a nice day in front of the TV and join her in her isolation. Thanks for picking Maddie up, by the way. I didn't want to pack up Daphne for a car ride when she is so sick."

Deacon nodded. "No problem. I was surprised you called though."

"Actually…" Rayna sat down on the bed, her hands stroking over the soft comforter. "It gave me a chance to thank you for last night. Daphne would never admit it but she was pretty scared and you didn't have to do that."

"Yeah well." Deacon cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I was pretty scared, too, when Hannah called me."

Rayna winced. "I can imagine."

Deacon hesitated for a second. He wanted to be honest with Rayna without upsetting her. Not now. Not when they were finally talking again. "And... honestly, Ray, you know I care about the girls. I cared about them even before I knew one of them was mine. And Daphne is just so much like you... It makes it pretty hard not to love her."

He watched as she closed her eyes and gripped the comforter tightly.

"Mom! Maddie is hogging my blankets and the remote!"

"I'm not."

Deacon chuckled and Rayna groaned before reluctantly getting up.

When they reached downstairs Daphne was telling Maddie all about going to the ER. Including all the gory and exaggerated details.

"Honey, that's not something to be bragging about, okay. You had a lot of people worried about you." Rayna admonished her youngest as she strolled into the kitchen and made herself busy by getting bowls and spoons out of the cupboards.

"Yes, Mom." Daphne sighed and turned back to the screen.

"Well, I'm gonna head out." Deacon declared. "I'll see you girls around. Get better, Daphne." He said with a last stroke over the girl's hair.

"Deacon."

"Dad, wait." Both girls cried out at once, the TV suddenly forgotten as they turned around to face him.

"Don't you want to stay? We'll veg out in front of the TV all day and there will be ice cream." Daphne said and both her and Maddie looked at him with big expectant eyes. He chanced a glance over at Rayna but she was clearly leaving the decision up to him. He had never seen anyone stack ice cream into bowls with such an intense and concentrated look on his face.

The problem was he wanted to stay. He cherished every minute he got to spend with the girls, both of them actually. And then there was Rayna. Carefree Rayna in full on Mom mode. It was like his deepest desire was dangled right in front of his face. And he was a weak man, he knew that much about himself. At least where these women were concerned. But cozying up with them now would only come back to bite him in the ass. It always did.

"Well?" Maddie asked impatiently.

Deacon sighed and glanced over at Rayna one more time. She didn't want to play part in his decision, he knew that. Recognized it by the way she completely ignored all of them. But something caught his eye.

She'd gotten out four bowls for ice cream.

Ah damn.

::

Staying had been a mistake. Deacon had been sure of that when the girls insisted he had to watch a damn Disney movie about some princesses and a talking snow man. But then the snow man was kind of funny. Not that he would ever admit that. But damn. Watching the girls, all three of them, start singing along to every damn song while they were sprawled out on the couches in their pajamas was just about perfect.

That is, until Maddie and Daphne insisted their mother had to sing a solo. Because as he watched Rayna, without make-up, her hair in a messy bun and just wearing what he assumed was one of his old Bluebird shirts and sweatpants, standing on the couch and belting out this Disney song about letting go, he just about felt his stomach drop. Deacon could see the happiness and excitement shining in her eyes while she sang and put all of herself into that song. On screen the blonde one was building an ice palace but he only had eyes for Rayna. He hadn't seen her this happy and lighthearted in a long time.

He was so screwed.

"_never bothered me anyway._" Rayna softly sang the last verse and collapsed back onto the couch to the roaring applause of her daughters.

"Amazing." Maddie admitted grudgingly.

"You're the best, Mom." Daphne said from where she was sprawled out next to him. "Isn't she, Deacon?" She nudged his thigh with her little foot.

"Yes." Deacon looked down and away from the temptation he couldn't deal with today. "She definitely is."

Rayna breathed out a laugh. "Okay, that's enough praise for the day. Otherwise I'd just get used to it."

"Don't worry." Maddie said as she leaned her head against her Mom's shoulder. "It'll be over the next time you try to cook."

::

Deacon sensed Rayna approaching from behind him as he loaded the dishwasher later that day.

"Thanks." Rayna said as he turned around. She put her hands into her pockets and shot him a short smile.

"No problem." Deacon stated.

"And thanks for being here today." Rayna elaborated. "The girls really wanted you to stay."

Deacon just cocked his head.

"And maybe… I wanted you to stay, too." Rayna admitted reluctantly. "I've been trying all day to find the courage to tell you that I'm sorry. I really am, Deacon."

"No." Deep down he didn't doubt it, but he was far from ready to admit that. "Don't do that, Ray."

"Don't do what?" She asked, her insecurity from moments before already forgotten.

Deacon just shook his head. "Don't apologize."

"Why the hell not? I hurt you-"

"Yeah, you did." Deacon interrupted her loudly and leant forward. "You damn well did. But no matter how much I love you, I'm not done being angry with you. So stop apologizing because I don't want to hear it."

Rayna looked back at him with a look of disappointment and pursed her lips together, looking guilty.

"Fuck." Deacon cursed to himself and breathed through the emotion that had tears pricking at the back of his eyes. He should have known this was too good to be true.


End file.
